2012 Resolutions: Tell them how you feel.

Telling people how you feel can be a scary thing.  I don't mean the way that your senior members of the family do it. It's as if the governor on the golf car has been removed and there is no stopping their mouths, opinions or nastiness.  I don't mean that.

A simple resolution if you care for someone at their home, in a facility or simply have a special person you visit frequently, tell them anything nice that strikes you about them.  Don't wait.

The song by Seals & Croft, "We May Never Pass This Way Again" is so true when it comes to those with health needs, the elderly, the infirmed.  Don't let the love or pleasant thoughts in your head stay stashed away.

I'm a member of a non-profit, Binky Patrol.  We make blankets for children and teens in hospitals and shelters and give them away.  Sometimes we get a lot of blankets.  Life gets busy and we don't always deliver them right away.  That doesn't do anyone any good.  Blankets in a closet bring no comfort. Same with kind words for those who need home health care, special home medical support and just those who may not get out that much.  Tell them the thought in your head that made you smile.  Don't miss the opportunity.

My mom had Alzheimer's for several years.  I tried to apply this concept to every visit with her.  In her case, I could tell her the same compliment each time and she was just as thrilled as hearing it for the first time.  She knew I was sincere and didn't notice I complimented her on her eyes, hair or laugh every time I saw her.  She beamed.

On the flipside of this, don't think you need to clear the air with everyone at every opportunity. Check your motives.  Are you doing it to truly make life better for them, or just to play out some anger, old tapes or past behavior by getting it off your chest?  No one needs you to barf on their shoes when they see you.  You won't change them with your "revelations" and "truths."  But you may cause more pain. Throw it to the wind or wish it into the cornfield and be done with it.  No one ever made the world a better place by spewing bile at people.